It actually happened. You knew it would but now it’s finally real. Your daughter or son have decided they want to start dating. Admittedly, I don’t have any kids, but it wasn’t so long ago that my parents were navigating this issue with me. It was never easy, and I struggled with wanting to be honest with my parents but also gaining some independence for myself. As a parent, you want your teen to be equipped with the right tools to navigate through the ups and downs of relationships. From a Christian perspective, relationships leading to marriage are viewed as a sacred bond between two people who share their lives with each other in a loving, caring, and respectful manner. However, with the rise of technology and social media, the definition of relationships has changed, and many teens are struggling to find their way. As a parent, it’s important to have an open and honest conversation with your teen about relationships and the values that are important in a healthy relationship. Here are some tips to help you get started:
1. Be honest with yourself and them
As much as you may want to ignore it, your teen is going through changes that will change the ways they see the opposite gender. The culture around them will bombard them with messages about sex and dating, from the movies they watch, to the games they play to the conversations they have with their friends. If you google the word “Dating”, you would get 790,000,000 hits. Instead of deciding to stick your head in the sand, recognize what they’re going through and seek to build a culture of honesty with them.
2. Start with the basics
Before diving into more complex topics, start with the basics. Talk to your teen about what love is and how it is demonstrated in relationships. Explain how love should be unconditional, forgiving, and selfless. Discuss the role of trust, honesty, and communication in a relationship, and emphasize the importance of setting boundaries and respecting each other’s individuality. The Bible gives us one of the best ways to describe relationship health in 1 Corinthians 13.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
But it’s important to remember to not just talk about it, but to model it as well. Teens will pick up on how you treat your spouse, friends, and other family and often that will teach them more than what you say
3. Emphasize the importance of self-respect
It’s essential that your teen understands the importance of self-respect in relationships. Teach them to value themselves and to expect the same from others. Explain that a healthy relationship is built on mutual respect and trust, and that it’s okay to walk away from a relationship that does not align with their values and beliefs.
4. Discuss the role of faith in relationships
From a Christian perspective, faith plays a significant role in relationships. Discuss with your teen how faith can bring people together, provide comfort and support, and help them to make decisions that align with their values and beliefs. Explain that having a shared faith can provide a foundation for a strong, healthy relationship and can help them to navigate through difficult times.
5. Talk about the dangers of premarital sex
In a society that often promotes casual sex, it’s important to discuss the dangers of premarital sex with your teen. Explain that sex is a sacred act that should be reserved for marriage, and that engaging in premarital sex can lead to emotional and physical consequences. As much as this might be the most awkward part of any conversation, it’s one of the most important parts, as teenagers will have questions, concerns and be hearing a lot from other friends.
6. Be a good listener
Finally, it’s important to be a good listener when talking to your teen about relationships. Be open to their thoughts and opinions, and don’t judge or dismiss their feelings. Encourage them to ask questions and to express their concerns, and offer support and guidance as needed.
In conclusion, talking to your teen about relationships can be a challenging but rewarding experience. By emphasizing the importance of self-respect, faith, and healthy relationships, you can help your teen make wise decisions and form meaningful relationships that will last a lifetime.
